From the Editor of NHSNetworks News (websupport@networks.nhs.uk) It's worth quoting in full his/her Glossary of terms used in the 'NHS reforms.' Here they are:
April 2013: possible date for Easter 2013; see also September 2013, sometime in 2014, never
Authorisation: ideal state or condition due to be reached by Easter
Bottom up: position advocated by the health bill
Clinical cabinet: place to keep old medical artefacts; pointless item of furniture
Clinical commissioning group: novice rock band with imminent national tour and stadium dates; see also sell-out
Cluster: aggregation of fragments, often nuts
Collaboration: obs. collusion with the enemy; mod. term of approbation
Commissioner: someone who buys things
Commissioner, clinical: someone reluctant to buy into things
Health and wellbeing board: operating table
Manager: term of abuse
NHS commissioning board: top-down bureaucracy dedicated to the promotion of bottom-up reform
Outpost: place no one wants to be sent to; relatively pleasant alternative to Leeds
Patient: person in need of improvement or prevention
Pathfinder: individual sent into dangerous situation and not expected to return
Pause: period of reflection for government
PCT: formerly universally loathed organisation, now regarded as rather useful
QIPP: joke about saving money
Sack: period of reflection for manager
Subnational: control centrally from somewhere other than London; euphemism for regional (see SHA, cluster)
Tasteless QIPP: joke at a particularly inappropriate time
Transition: (of institutions) abolition; (of individuals) process of looking for a new job
Seriously, laughter has strength and perhaps holding the coalition policies for massacring the vulnerable to ridicule can be a powerful tool. Anyone got any more?
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